1
00:00:03,334 --> 00:00:04,534
Oh, here, here!

2
00:00:04,535 --> 00:00:06,776
Found it.
Stop your search.

3
00:00:06,777 --> 00:00:08,778
I found something
we'll both enjoy.

4
00:00:08,779 --> 00:00:12,212
Look at this Cop Fights Dracula.

5
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:14,584
Oh, and the cop's uniform
is a bikini.

6
00:00:14,585 --> 00:00:15,646
Pass.

7
00:00:16,647 --> 00:00:18,118
Oh, here's one.

8
00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:20,790
"Single dad finds
love again." Oh!

9
00:00:20,791 --> 00:00:23,753
Let me guess,
his kid wears glasses.

10
00:00:23,754 --> 00:00:28,128
Yeah, and they're too big
for his face. Isn't that so cute?

11
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:29,199
(MOCKINGLY) So cute!
Pass.

12
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:30,200
Oh!

13
00:00:30,201 --> 00:00:31,701
Here's my backup.
Here.

14
00:00:31,702 --> 00:00:33,464
A cop and a dog fight the mafia.

15
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,435
No!

16
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:37,267
Oh, Jim, oh, ok.

17
00:00:37,268 --> 00:00:39,669
Look, honey,
The Bells of Portugal.

18
00:00:39,670 --> 00:00:42,672
It has something for you and
something for me. It's got romance for me,

19
00:00:42,673 --> 00:00:44,043
and war for you.

20
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,415
Give me that.

21
00:00:45,416 --> 00:00:47,046
This isn't war.

22
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,648
War is when Robert Mitchum

23
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,280
is chewing on a cigar,
cutting down Nazis.

24
00:00:50,281 --> 00:00:51,481
Oh.

25
00:00:51,482 --> 00:00:54,554
No, this one just uses war
to keep lovers apart,

26
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,556
so they can look at
each other's pictures and cry.

27
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,388
Oh!
No.

28
00:00:58,389 --> 00:01:00,360
Oh, but, honey, look
at them. He's wounded,

29
00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,732
and she's wearing
a big hat with a veil.

30
00:01:02,733 --> 00:01:04,164
Oh, it looks so sad.

31
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:05,595
I love that.

32
00:01:05,596 --> 00:01:08,368
I don't get you women. You
will pay money to see something

33
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:10,170
that you know is gonna
make you sad. Yeah?

34
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:11,401
When you can go to a funeral

35
00:01:11,402 --> 00:01:13,343
any day of the week
here in town.

36
00:01:13,344 --> 00:01:15,105
For free!

37
00:01:15,106 --> 00:01:17,577
Honey, a good cry is
like a cleansing rain.

38
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,209
It washes everything out of you.

39
00:01:19,210 --> 00:01:20,480
You should try it sometime.

40
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:22,152
I do cry, Cheryl.

41
00:01:22,153 --> 00:01:23,653
I'm a Cubs and a Bears fan.

42
00:01:23,654 --> 00:01:25,315
Oh.

43
00:01:25,316 --> 00:01:26,786
No, no. Nuh-uh.

44
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:30,360
Listen, you women always say
that you want a sensitive man,

45
00:01:30,361 --> 00:01:32,622
a vulnerable man who cries.

46
00:01:32,623 --> 00:01:35,525
Trust me, Cheryl, you don't.

47
00:01:35,526 --> 00:01:37,467
Oh, what do you know
about what women want?

48
00:01:37,468 --> 00:01:38,798
I know plenty about women.

49
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:41,100
I know they want
a strong man, a real man,

50
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,504
the kind of guy who bottles up
all his emotions inside.

51
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:47,737
Well, all I can tell you
is that I would be proud

52
00:01:47,738 --> 00:01:49,839
to be with a man with
emotional depth and compassion.

53
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,742
Wrong, Cheryl, absolutely wrong.

54
00:01:52,743 --> 00:01:55,515
It upsets the natural
order of things.

55
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:57,317
It's like guys wearing clogs.

56
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:58,748
Wrong!

57
00:01:58,749 --> 00:02:03,293
Well, I think it's sexy when
a man's not afraid to cry.

58
00:02:03,294 --> 00:02:05,855
Well, then, let me let
you in on a little secret.

59
00:02:05,856 --> 00:02:07,297
What?

60
00:02:07,298 --> 00:02:09,229
There is one movie that
tears me up a little bit.

61
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:10,300
Really? What?

62
00:02:10,301 --> 00:02:12,232
Robot Warrior 2.

63
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,533
Oh!

64
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,405
It's the tender tale of a robot

65
00:02:15,406 --> 00:02:17,207
(VOICE BREAKING)
who loves revenge,

66
00:02:17,208 --> 00:02:19,270
and a robot can't
make it quite...

67
00:02:20,771 --> 00:02:23,343
I can't get through it.
It's too much!

68
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,915
Fine. Get your stupid
robot movie,

69
00:02:25,916 --> 00:02:27,817
but I am watching
The Bells of Portugal.

70
00:02:27,818 --> 00:02:29,619
Fine.
Ooh, ooh, ooh!

71
00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:31,251
How about this one?
Kicked In The Crotch.

72
00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:32,382
Oh!

73
00:02:32,383 --> 00:02:33,753
Come on,
it's the director's cut.

74
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,325
Oh, Kicked In The Crotch,

75
00:02:35,326 --> 00:02:36,526
very good movie.

76
00:02:36,527 --> 00:02:37,558
See?

77
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:45,566
JIM: Oh, baby!

78
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,542
Come on, Jim.

79
00:02:52,543 --> 00:02:53,444
Jim, would you get off it? No.

80
00:02:53,445 --> 00:02:54,744
No!

81
00:02:54,745 --> 00:02:56,546
Anyone in my position would
have done the same thing.

82
00:02:56,547 --> 00:02:59,209
No, no, not anyone!

83
00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:02,353
If a bird pooped in my fries,
I would not eat around it!

84
00:03:03,554 --> 00:03:05,285
Hey, Ruby,
ask your Uncle Andy...

85
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,286
Can't. Got ballet.
Got to go.

86
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:07,617
Hey, Gracie, do you know...

87
00:03:07,618 --> 00:03:09,319
Can't. Don't care.
Got to go.

88
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:10,920
Hey, Kyle, do you know that...

89
00:03:10,921 --> 00:03:13,493
Mommy said I can
get my Rocket Dog toy.

90
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,195
Rocket Dog! Rocket Dog!

91
00:03:15,826 --> 00:03:17,497
Rocket Dog.

92
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:18,728
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

93
00:03:18,729 --> 00:03:20,700
I am listening.
What did he do?

94
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,473
I don't need your pity interest.

95
00:03:23,474 --> 00:03:25,835
Good. Frees up
a lot of my day.

96
00:03:25,836 --> 00:03:27,577
Hey, wait a minute!
Where are you going?

97
00:03:27,578 --> 00:03:28,808
We got the DVDs to return here.

98
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,310
Don't you want to
take them with you?

99
00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:31,381
Oh, honey,
I haven't watched mine yet.

100
00:03:31,382 --> 00:03:32,712
I'm gonna return it tomorrow.

101
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,213
Oh, all right.

102
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,516
Well, I'll have the
chauffeur drive the butler

103
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:37,748
to drop off the late fee.

104
00:03:38,649 --> 00:03:40,320
It's $2.

105
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:41,691
Well, as long as it's going

106
00:03:41,692 --> 00:03:42,852
for a good cause, Cheryl.

107
00:03:42,853 --> 00:03:44,794
Hollywood!

108
00:03:44,795 --> 00:03:46,856
Yeah, Jim, Tom Cruise
would be living in a box

109
00:03:46,857 --> 00:03:48,498
without your late fees.

110
00:03:48,499 --> 00:03:50,630
(CHERYL LAUGHING)

111
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:54,334
Ah, Robot Warrior 2.
Seen it.

112
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,735
Acting, C.

113
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,908
Violence and robot sex, A-plus.

114
00:03:59,910 --> 00:04:01,611
Oh, my God!

115
00:04:01,612 --> 00:04:04,013
The Bells of Portugal,
I have to see this.

116
00:04:04,014 --> 00:04:05,475
I heard it was fantastic.

117
00:04:05,476 --> 00:04:06,747
Yeah, if you have boobs.

118
00:04:08,819 --> 00:04:09,820
Hello.

119
00:04:16,887 --> 00:04:20,259
MAN ON TV: Well, hello, Miss
Felicity. Charmed to meet you.

120
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,592
My name is Nigel.
Captain Nigel Ellis.

121
00:04:22,593 --> 00:04:24,394
FELICITY:
Don't you find Paris

122
00:04:24,395 --> 00:04:27,637
rather dispiriting these days,
Captain Ellis?

123
00:04:27,638 --> 00:04:30,269
NIGEL: I'd really rather
you call me Nigel.

124
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,042
I'd really rather you shut up.

125
00:04:33,504 --> 00:04:34,874
(GUNFIRE)

126
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,377
NIGEL: Dear God!
The Nazis are here!

127
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:38,878
FELICITY:
And they've got my father!

128
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,350
He's got a weak heart!

129
00:04:40,351 --> 00:04:42,012
Let him go, you monsters!

130
00:04:44,515 --> 00:04:46,316
NIGEL: Take that, Fritz!

131
00:04:46,317 --> 00:04:47,887
That's for Scotty
and Pete and the major!

132
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:50,321
That's for every English life
you've ended too soon!

133
00:04:52,823 --> 00:04:55,064
NIGEL: Doctor...
Doctor, please.

134
00:04:55,065 --> 00:04:57,397
Give my morphine to Boswell.

135
00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,529
He needs it more than I.

136
00:04:59,530 --> 00:05:02,672
DOCTOR: Damn your
pride, man! We need you.

137
00:05:02,673 --> 00:05:06,406
The crown needs you.
Now rest.

138
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,738
NIGEL: Rubbish. Don't...

139
00:05:08,739 --> 00:05:10,840
(COUGHING)
...worry about me.

140
00:05:10,841 --> 00:05:12,713
I'm in ripping good form.

141
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,991
She met you under the bells
like she promised.

142
00:05:23,994 --> 00:05:25,556
Kiss her, Nigel.

143
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,428
Kiss her!

144
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,729
(CAR APPROACHING)

145
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:30,961
Oh, damn!

146
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:36,907
Nazi scum!

147
00:05:38,969 --> 00:05:39,969
(CLEARS THROAT)

148
00:05:39,970 --> 00:05:42,111
What happened?
Is the movie over?

149
00:05:42,112 --> 00:05:44,445
Well, you fell asleep,
you big girl,

150
00:05:45,716 --> 00:05:48,448
so I put on the robot movie.

151
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,920
Oh, well, can I borrow
Bells of Portugal?

152
00:05:50,921 --> 00:05:52,852
No. No!

153
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:56,586
I mean, Cheryl
hasn't seen it yet.

154
00:05:56,587 --> 00:05:57,957
Here, here.
How about this one?

155
00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,859
Kicked In The Crotch.

156
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:00,960
Seen it.

157
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:03,863
Director's cut.
Ooh, gimme.

158
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:07,438
"Five minutes of never-before-seen
groin-kicking action."

159
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,470
I may be late to work tomorrow.

160
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,471
(CHUCKLES)

161
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:12,742
ANDY: Oh, hey.

162
00:06:12,743 --> 00:06:14,444
Hey.

163
00:06:14,445 --> 00:06:16,006
Rocket Dog! Rocket
Dog! Rocket Dog!

164
00:06:17,608 --> 00:06:20,010
I'm going to bed.
I have a headache.

165
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,783
The kid never shuts up.

166
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,457
Hey, baby.

167
00:06:27,157 --> 00:06:29,489
Are your eyes red?

168
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:30,960
Yes.
Yeah?

169
00:06:30,961 --> 00:06:32,562
Yes, they are.

170
00:06:32,563 --> 00:06:34,894
Uh, you know, I was watching
that robot movie,

171
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,896
and when I see that
action and violence,

172
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,628
I forget to blink.
Right.

173
00:06:38,629 --> 00:06:40,630
Night-night.
Good night. Good night.

174
00:06:40,631 --> 00:06:44,033
Wait! Are you okay?
You seem kind of weird.

175
00:06:44,034 --> 00:06:46,036
Oh, don't worry about me.
I'm in ripping good form.

176
00:06:48,479 --> 00:06:49,540
I mean, I'm fine.

177
00:06:51,041 --> 00:06:52,442
Night.

178
00:06:52,443 --> 00:06:53,744
Good night.

179
00:07:02,753 --> 00:07:05,194
NIGEL:
Felicity, there's

180
00:07:05,195 --> 00:07:07,527
something I must tell you.

181
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,059
What, Nigel, what?

182
00:07:12,563 --> 00:07:14,064
FELICITY:
What, Nigel? What?

183
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,938
CHERYL: Jim, would you
put Kyle to bed

184
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,540
while I get the girls ready?

185
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:21,572
(SNARLS)

186
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:24,144
Damn!

187
00:07:40,491 --> 00:07:42,061
Daddy, Daddy!

188
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,735
Somebody put Rocket Dog
in the toilet!

189
00:07:45,836 --> 00:07:46,966
Ruby!

190
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,097
RUBY: What?

191
00:07:48,098 --> 00:07:49,969
Gracie!

192
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,142
GRACIE: I don't know
where his stupid dog is!

193
00:07:53,904 --> 00:07:55,745
It was Gracie.

194
00:07:55,746 --> 00:07:57,877
Go get one of her dolls
and give it a haircut.

195
00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,249
All right!

196
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,512
All right, honey, Dana and I
are gonna run some errands

197
00:08:02,513 --> 00:08:03,683
and return those DVDs.

198
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,054
What? No. Why?

199
00:08:05,055 --> 00:08:07,987
Why? Because you're gonna
start complaining about the late fees,

200
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,589
then you're gonna
turn off the heat.

201
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:12,121
You have plenty of
quarters in your closet.

202
00:08:12,122 --> 00:08:13,122
What did you rent?

203
00:08:13,123 --> 00:08:14,894
The Bells of Portugal.

204
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,567
Oh, yuck. What a load that was.

205
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,097
BOTH: You saw it?

206
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,529
DANA: Oh, yeah.

207
00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:20,570
They got a thousand
years of culture,

208
00:08:20,571 --> 00:08:22,131
and they give us this?

209
00:08:22,132 --> 00:08:23,292
Thanks for the crap, England.

210
00:08:24,735 --> 00:08:27,136
Oh, and the hero,
Neil or somebody...

211
00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:28,278
Nigel.

212
00:08:30,781 --> 00:08:32,012
Probably.

213
00:08:33,183 --> 00:08:36,185
It's an English movie.
There's always a Nigel.

214
00:08:36,186 --> 00:08:39,088
(IN BRITISH ACCENT) So, Nigel
goes to meet Felicity under the bells,

215
00:08:39,089 --> 00:08:40,550
and at the end...

216
00:08:40,551 --> 00:08:41,692
(HUMMING LOUDLY)

217
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,056
What?

218
00:08:47,057 --> 00:08:49,759
I don't think Cheryl
wants to hear about

219
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:53,032
some stupid pact of meeting
under some stupid bells.

220
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,705
How'd you know about the pact?

221
00:08:55,706 --> 00:08:58,739
Oh, my God!
You watched the movie!

222
00:08:59,309 --> 00:09:00,671
Rubbish.

223
00:09:02,312 --> 00:09:06,646
I watched the robot movie, and
the robot destroyed the world.

224
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,878
And you know what?
I loved it!

225
00:09:08,879 --> 00:09:12,181
Ok, so if I go out to the player
right now and pop out the DVD,

226
00:09:12,182 --> 00:09:14,284
it's gonna be that robot movie?

227
00:09:22,733 --> 00:09:23,934
Ha!

228
00:09:24,635 --> 00:09:25,666
Ha!

229
00:09:26,797 --> 00:09:29,068
Bells of Portugal.

230
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,871
Well, well, well.

231
00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:34,804
I cannot believe you'd
watch that sappy thing.

232
00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:37,047
It is not sappy,
it's a good movie!

233
00:09:38,649 --> 00:09:40,079
Sorry, but when a man behaves

234
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,152
like a lovesick teenage
girl, I find it off-putting.

235
00:09:43,153 --> 00:09:44,855
You thought Nigel
was like a girl?

236
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,688
I wasn't talking about Nigel.

237
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:51,160
Dana, leave him be.

238
00:09:51,161 --> 00:09:52,862
I think it's great
that Jim watched

239
00:09:52,863 --> 00:09:55,695
a sensitive, emotional
movie and appreciated it.

240
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:58,097
This is a whole
new level for him.

241
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,369
Ha! Face!

242
00:10:01,231 --> 00:10:03,773
And a whole new level of
maturity for us. Mmm-hmm.

243
00:10:03,774 --> 00:10:06,706
Hey, Jim, my big sensitive guy,

244
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,377
what do you say
we put the kids to bed early

245
00:10:08,378 --> 00:10:09,709
and watch the movie together?

246
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,341
(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
Delightful idea.

247
00:10:12,342 --> 00:10:16,085
Show yourself to
the door, young Dana.

248
00:10:16,086 --> 00:10:18,948
No problem. And then I'll
show myself down to the bar

249
00:10:18,949 --> 00:10:20,049
and tell all your friends

250
00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:21,722
what a giant nancy
you are. Face!

251
00:10:22,853 --> 00:10:24,623
You won't do that, Dana.

252
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,755
Watch me.

253
00:10:25,756 --> 00:10:28,729
Fourth of July, margaritas,
Carlos the lifeguard!

254
00:10:33,804 --> 00:10:35,134
Cheryl,

255
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,107
I was told I could rely on
your discretion in that matter.

256
00:10:38,108 --> 00:10:40,270
Yeah. That one kind of
got away from me.

257
00:10:41,872 --> 00:10:44,273
Then we'll say no more
on the subject. Good day.

258
00:10:44,274 --> 00:10:45,876
(DOOR CLOSES)

259
00:10:47,978 --> 00:10:49,938
FELICITY: I picked the
wrong time to fall in love.

260
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,755
NIGEL: I suppose no one told
our hearts there was a war on.

261
00:11:01,892 --> 00:11:02,992
(SNIFFLES)

262
00:11:02,993 --> 00:11:04,663
FELICITY:
London may pin her hopes

263
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,335
on you and Fighter
Command, Nigel,

264
00:11:06,336 --> 00:11:09,099
but the only hope
for our love now is...

265
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:11,101
Portugal.

266
00:11:17,407 --> 00:11:18,909
(CRYING)

267
00:11:23,714 --> 00:11:27,056
You know what? You
are absolutely right, Cheryl.

268
00:11:27,057 --> 00:11:29,959
I mean, I just feel
totally cleansed.

269
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:33,793
It's like all my pent-up anger
stuck to the snot

270
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,766
and went right into my tissue.

271
00:11:37,127 --> 00:11:38,427
That's right.

272
00:11:38,428 --> 00:11:40,099
That's exactly
what I've been saying...

273
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,272
In a much less disgusting way.

274
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:48,307
Well, now that I'm absolutely
in touch with my emotions,

275
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,109
I bet you never wanted me more.

276
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,480
(CHUCKLES)

277
00:11:51,481 --> 00:11:53,441
Oh, I'll want you more
after you brush your teeth.

278
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,386
You know, Cheryl,
I don't understand

279
00:11:57,387 --> 00:12:00,790
why they didn't let Felicity and Nigel
get together at the end of that film.

280
00:12:00,791 --> 00:12:04,924
I mean, it just,
it was just sad.

281
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,127
Oh, I don't know.
It was just a movie.

282
00:12:08,358 --> 00:12:10,229
Oh, damn it!

283
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,301
The top of this toothpaste
fell down the drain.

284
00:12:12,302 --> 00:12:14,964
Now it's gonna be
all clogged up.

285
00:12:14,965 --> 00:12:16,505
You know what I want to get?

286
00:12:16,506 --> 00:12:19,969
I want to get that pump
toothpaste, like the kids have.

287
00:12:19,970 --> 00:12:22,111
It's not fair!

288
00:12:22,112 --> 00:12:25,744
How come the kids get
pump toothpaste, and I don't?

289
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,848
I want some for me!
I want! I want! I...

290
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:29,980
(CRYING)

291
00:12:31,822 --> 00:12:35,225
It broke! It broke!
It broke!

292
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:37,957
What?

293
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,129
So, can you pick some up?

294
00:12:40,991 --> 00:12:42,092
What?

295
00:12:43,033 --> 00:12:44,164
Nothing.

296
00:12:45,095 --> 00:12:46,365
All right, then.

297
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,397
Let's get down to some loving.

298
00:12:48,398 --> 00:12:50,139
Yeah, you know what, honey?

299
00:12:50,140 --> 00:12:54,043
I really feel kind of emotionally
drained from that movie.

300
00:12:54,044 --> 00:12:57,046
Maybe we should
just go to sleep.

301
00:12:57,047 --> 00:13:00,179
What?
You said you wanted me.

302
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,152
(WHINING) You said
we were gonna do it.

303
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,353
I want to do it.

304
00:13:04,354 --> 00:13:06,256
I wanna do it, do it.

305
00:13:07,417 --> 00:13:09,219
I want some love!

306
00:13:13,523 --> 00:13:15,364
(CADILLAC MAN PLAYS)

307
00:13:15,365 --> 00:13:17,868
(PLAYING HIGH NOTES)

308
00:13:21,231 --> 00:13:22,301
Andy, stop it!
Stop it!

309
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,173
What are you doing?

310
00:13:24,174 --> 00:13:26,535
Hey, that's not how
Cadillac Man goes.

311
00:13:26,536 --> 00:13:29,308
Oh, no, I'm sorry, Jim.

312
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:32,482
I got the Bells of Portugal
theme running through my mind.

313
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,345
I know how you like that.

314
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,050
What do you know?

315
00:13:41,051 --> 00:13:43,152
I know plenty.

316
00:13:43,153 --> 00:13:45,154
Cheryl told you I cried?

317
00:13:45,155 --> 00:13:47,556
You cried? No.

318
00:13:47,557 --> 00:13:50,961
Dana told me you liked it.
She didn't say you cried.

319
00:13:52,062 --> 00:13:53,933
Dana!

320
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:58,207
So, big, tough Jim cried, huh?
Hey, let me ask you

321
00:13:58,208 --> 00:14:01,070
how are those boobs
coming along?

322
00:14:01,071 --> 00:14:03,312
Jim cried during the movie?

323
00:14:03,313 --> 00:14:04,874
Oh, God, I'd love to see that.

324
00:14:04,875 --> 00:14:06,415
No. No, you wouldn't.

325
00:14:06,416 --> 00:14:08,478
That giant head
holds a lot of tears.

326
00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:11,120
No, it's freaky.

327
00:14:11,121 --> 00:14:12,551
What happened to the woman

328
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:15,084
who thought a sensitive
man was strong and sexy?

329
00:14:15,085 --> 00:14:17,156
Yeah, that looks good on paper,

330
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,088
but when it's blubbering
next to you on the couch...

331
00:14:19,089 --> 00:14:20,130
Yikes!

332
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,262
All right, all right.

333
00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:27,266
Maybe one manly tear
slid down my cheek,

334
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,369
kind of like that Indian
who hated pollution.

335
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:33,243
You cried. Attagirl.

336
00:14:35,245 --> 00:14:37,476
Oh, don't worry.
I won't tell the guys.

337
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,879
Hey, I got nothing to be
embarrassed about here.

338
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,182
But don't tell the guys, anyway.

339
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,514
Look, I think it's very
healthy for our marriage

340
00:14:45,515 --> 00:14:48,117
for me to be vulnerable
and for Cheryl to see that.

341
00:14:48,118 --> 00:14:51,120
And you know what? A
good cry felt really good.

342
00:14:51,121 --> 00:14:52,161
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

343
00:14:52,162 --> 00:14:53,964
I thought it was
one tear, chief.

344
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:58,497
Whatever.
It was cathartic.

345
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:01,031
And I learned a
new word, "cathartic."

346
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,332
Well, hey, buddy,

347
00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:06,075
you're gonna be real happy
with this piece of news.

348
00:15:06,076 --> 00:15:07,276
I'm just glad it's over.

349
00:15:07,277 --> 00:15:09,008
And I'll tell you something else

350
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:12,141
I am never watching another
movie like that with him again.

351
00:15:12,142 --> 00:15:14,343
Cheryl, Cheryl!
Cheryl!

352
00:15:14,344 --> 00:15:16,185
Guess what's playing
down at the mall.

353
00:15:16,186 --> 00:15:19,318
Oh, please be something
with crotch kicking.

354
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:21,320
No, Portuguese Cathedral.

355
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:22,551
It's the sequel to our movie,

356
00:15:22,552 --> 00:15:24,623
Bells of Portugal.

357
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:27,257
And Nigel and Felicity have
a second chance at love!

358
00:15:34,104 --> 00:15:36,165
FELICITY:
How could you do it, Nigel?

359
00:15:36,166 --> 00:15:38,167
How could you let me
think you dead?

360
00:15:38,168 --> 00:15:41,610
Get out! I hate you!

361
00:15:41,611 --> 00:15:43,412
NIGEL: I shouldn't wonder
you're angry, Felicity,

362
00:15:43,413 --> 00:15:45,044
but you must understand.

363
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:48,117
It couldn't be helped.
Lives were at stake!

364
00:15:48,118 --> 00:15:49,379
(SNIFFLES)

365
00:15:55,525 --> 00:15:57,127
(BELL RINGING)

366
00:16:02,192 --> 00:16:04,063
I want to be selfish.

367
00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:06,635
With the Allied invasion
coming up, I'm afraid

368
00:16:06,636 --> 00:16:09,369
we'll have to put our love
on hold for the duration.

369
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:13,303
(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
You never put me first.

370
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:15,675
(SNIFFLING)

371
00:16:17,207 --> 00:16:19,578
You hate me!

372
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,751
Don't you? You hate me!
(CRYING)

373
00:16:22,752 --> 00:16:24,684
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
My friend...

374
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:29,188
Why you cry like little girl?

375
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:31,461
This woman she love you, eh?

376
00:16:32,262 --> 00:16:33,493
Kiss her.

377
00:16:35,665 --> 00:16:38,497
I'd like to, flabby, old chum,

378
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,500
but I'm a bit
choked up right now.

379
00:16:49,439 --> 00:16:52,241
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) English
woman, why do you put up with this?

380
00:16:52,242 --> 00:16:54,514
He does not need you,
he needs a "muzzer!"

381
00:16:55,645 --> 00:16:57,386
A "muzzer?"

382
00:16:57,387 --> 00:16:59,288
You know, like a
father, but a woman.

383
00:16:59,289 --> 00:17:02,521
Prostitution
has made you stupid.

384
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,022
And you smell like fish!

385
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,224
Stop it! Stop it,
I say! I aughtta!

386
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:07,226
Stop it!

387
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,159
Stop it, or I swear, I'll...

388
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:12,461
(CRYING)

389
00:17:12,462 --> 00:17:14,233
Aye, aye, aye!

390
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:15,405
Oh, no.

391
00:17:17,507 --> 00:17:19,208
(SOBBING)
She doesn't like me!

392
00:17:19,209 --> 00:17:21,341
NIGEL: Stop it.
You're talking nonsense.

393
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,543
Damn straight, Nigel.

394
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,376
Jim, I need to talk
to you in the lobby.

395
00:17:27,377 --> 00:17:29,148
What? Can't it wait?

396
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,819
I mean, if Felicity
can wait for Nigel for...

397
00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:31,821
Lobby!

398
00:17:42,832 --> 00:17:44,464
Sad and sexy...

399
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,437
And the movie
ain't that bad, either.

400
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:51,701
Oh, it's so on.

401
00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:56,845
(SIGHS)

402
00:17:56,846 --> 00:17:58,107
All right, Cheryl.
Come on. Come on.

403
00:17:58,108 --> 00:17:59,248
What was so important?

404
00:17:59,249 --> 00:18:01,450
It's Felicity and Nigel
up on the screen!

405
00:18:01,451 --> 00:18:03,252
This is hard.
What?

406
00:18:03,253 --> 00:18:04,683
Okay, I'm gonna start here.

407
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:05,685
Um, honey...

408
00:18:06,456 --> 00:18:09,458
You're making me sick.

409
00:18:09,459 --> 00:18:12,591
I see, Cheryl. Can you
be a little more specific?

410
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,424
Yeah, I can.
It's the crying.

411
00:18:15,465 --> 00:18:16,496
Crying?

412
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:18,797
At the movie?

413
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,169
Yeah, yeah.

414
00:18:20,170 --> 00:18:21,670
I thought I wanted you
to be more emotional.

415
00:18:21,671 --> 00:18:23,472
I really thought
it was something I wanted,

416
00:18:23,473 --> 00:18:24,504
but I don't.

417
00:18:25,635 --> 00:18:26,735
But I knew that!

418
00:18:26,736 --> 00:18:28,477
I told you that
at the video store!

419
00:18:28,478 --> 00:18:29,778
You did, and you were right.

420
00:18:29,779 --> 00:18:32,481
It's not sexy, Jim.

421
00:18:32,482 --> 00:18:35,144
No, because you see me
as like a girlfriend.

422
00:18:35,145 --> 00:18:37,746
Well, like a giant baby,
but, okay.

423
00:18:37,747 --> 00:18:40,219
No, you want to be
married to a strong guy

424
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,890
who bottles up all his emotions!

425
00:18:41,891 --> 00:18:45,394
Exactly! So butch it up,
would you?

426
00:18:45,395 --> 00:18:48,357
I knew it. You know what?
I blame myself for this.

427
00:18:48,358 --> 00:18:50,299
I gave you
what you said you wanted

428
00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:51,530
instead of what
you needed. I know.

429
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,362
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

430
00:18:53,363 --> 00:18:55,234
I'm better than that!
I'm better than that!

431
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:57,606
You are!
You are, Jim.

432
00:18:57,607 --> 00:18:59,439
You let me down.
Why?

433
00:19:00,410 --> 00:19:01,911
Because, honey

434
00:19:02,912 --> 00:19:04,914
because I'll tell you why.

435
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,248
It's very simple.

436
00:19:13,783 --> 00:19:15,784
I was, uh...

437
00:19:15,785 --> 00:19:17,357
I was gonna teach you a lesson.

438
00:19:19,689 --> 00:19:20,829
You were faking?

439
00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:22,361
(LAUGHS) Yes!

440
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,893
Come on, Cheryl. I don't care
about anybody's relationship.

441
00:19:24,894 --> 00:19:26,536
You think I give a crap
about them?

442
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,399
Oh, my God!
It was a scheme!

443
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,742
Of course! It was
my best one to date.

444
00:19:33,743 --> 00:19:36,945
Oh, honey, I am so relieved.

445
00:19:36,946 --> 00:19:39,448
Oh, sometimes I forget
who I'm married to.

446
00:19:39,449 --> 00:19:40,679
(LAUGHING) Yeah!

447
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,281
Oh, this is so great.

448
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:43,882
Now that you're my
great, big strong guy again,

449
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:46,855
I can go in and cry my eyes
out at the rest of the movie.

450
00:19:46,856 --> 00:19:48,357
Wait, you want to go see
the rest of the movie now?

451
00:19:48,358 --> 00:19:49,588
(MOUTHING) Oh, yeah!

452
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,621
The end is supposed
to be devastating!

453
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,825
Devastating?

454
00:19:56,826 --> 00:19:58,427
Yeah. What?

455
00:19:58,428 --> 00:19:59,568
You afraid you're gonna cry?

456
00:19:59,569 --> 00:20:00,570
No!

457
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,632
I was kidding.

458
00:20:03,633 --> 00:20:05,734
(CHUCKLES)
Me, too!

459
00:20:05,735 --> 00:20:06,835
Ah!

460
00:20:06,836 --> 00:20:08,377
That's why we're married.

461
00:20:08,378 --> 00:20:09,378
Oh!

462
00:20:09,379 --> 00:20:10,880
I love you.

463
00:20:29,899 --> 00:20:33,463
That was the most beautiful
thing I have ever seen.

464
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,906
Why are you crying? I thought
you hated this kind of movie.

465
00:20:37,907 --> 00:20:39,638
I do, because they make me cry!

466
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:40,639
Oh.

467
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,712
It's...
I mean, she...

468
00:20:43,713 --> 00:20:47,847
Today, I become a better
person! I love you all!

469
00:20:52,522 --> 00:20:54,453
What kind of person
refuses a hug?

470
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:55,484
I'll hug you, Andy.

471
00:20:55,485 --> 00:20:56,656
Please. You're a mess.

472
00:20:58,828 --> 00:21:00,289
What did you think?

473
00:21:00,290 --> 00:21:01,860
Well, it used to be rated R

474
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,362
meant you'd see some boobs.

475
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:04,363
Oh!

476
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,498
Oh, Cheryl, geez.

477
00:21:09,499 --> 00:21:10,739
I think I dropped my keys.

478
00:21:10,740 --> 00:21:11,970
Oh, okay, I'll meet you
in the lobby.

479
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:12,971
Okay, dear.

480
00:21:15,004 --> 00:21:16,375
(SIGHS)

481
00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:17,377
Oh!

482
00:21:19,048 --> 00:21:20,349
(SNIFFLES)

483
00:21:20,350 --> 00:21:23,582
(CRYING) Portugal...

484
00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:26,685
(IN BRITISH ACCENT) I still hear
the sound of thy bittersweet bells.

485
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:27,817
(CRYING)